Yellow Wife Read online

  She frowned. “Me, Jacob. I cannot stand to be here alone again. I declare, these darkies are trying to craze me.”

  “Oh,” he said sweetly, “you are with child, dear, and need your rest.”

  “I need to be around someone I can have a real conversation with. The isolation is deafening. Cannot remember the last time I saw a white woman.”

  “Your parents were just here for the winter feast.”

  “Feels like ages ago.” She sighed. “I beg you.”

  “The whole house would fall apart without you here.”

  “Then let it crumble,” she declared, but then when she saw the crinkled-up look on Master’s face, she shoved her spoon in her mouth.

  He signaled to me for more stew.

  “Who are you taking with you?”

  “Parrott and Ruth.”

  “Ruth.” She spat out Mama’s name. “That nigger woman needs to stay here and work. We are already short hands and we need to prepare the house for spring. Not to mention the planting.”

  “All your worrying will make you sick. Now, I will send for someone from the fields to help. With thirty-nine slaves, I am sure we can make it work.”

  “Thirty-nine personalities for me to manage alone.”

  “Snitch is a good overseer. He’ll keep everyone in line. Besides, it will only be about two or three weeks.”

  “You said that the last time you went south and you stayed away three months.”

  I could tell by the way Master chewed the inside of his jaw that his patience had waned. Missus must have noticed too, because she dropped her eyes and reached for her lemonade.

  “Please let Lovie know to begin preparing my things for departure.”

  Missus pushed her bowl away from her.

  “Pheby,” Master Jacob called to me. I stepped from the shadows. His eyes registered the damage to my cheek and then he swallowed. “I will have tea and plum pudding in the parlor.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “ ‘Yes, master!’ ” Missus Delphina roared. “See, the girl has no manners.”

  “Yes, master.” I backed out of the dining room before Missus could raise any more Cain.

  The kitchen sat at the back of the property. The stone building had a wooden door, and a cloud of smoke bellowed from the chimney. Aunt Hope, the plantation cook, stood bent over her cast-iron pot. I guessed she was stirring up sweet potatoes from the smell of sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg that peppered the air. Soon as I entered the room my body temperature climbed.

  “What they needin’?” She shuffled from the pot to the ovens to the bowl of green beans on the center worktable. Sweat rolled down her neck and settled in a puddle in her ample cleavage. I fanned myself with the edge of my blouse and delivered Master’s message.

  “Ain’t had nothin’ on your stomach today.” She reached into the wire-rimmed basket and handed me a piece of bread that I quickly stuffed between my teeth, and a boiled egg that I inhaled in the time it took her to prepare Master’s dish.

  Missus Delphina did not look up at me as I passed through the dining room with the dessert tray. The parlor sat off to the side of the carriage hall, enclosed by two grained pocket doors. It was my favorite room in the house, and where I’d spent countless hours with Miss Sally sitting by the fireplace, reading in the inglenook, learning arithmetic and geography, and playing the piano. Miss Sally’s mahogany piano had a tapestry front, and legs that mirrored animal limbs, with feet and claws. As a child, I used to make up ridiculous stories about the animal carvings just to make Miss Sally laugh. I liked to see her happy.

  She never married on account of her illness. No one bothered to tell me what ailed her, just that she suffered from woman problems and there was nothing Mama or the white doctor could do. Near her end, she was so frail that Master Jacob would carry her to the parlor and prop her up with pillows so that I could play for her. When she became too weak to clap, she mouthed, “Brava.”

  I found Master sitting in his wingback chair, smoking his pipe and reading the newspaper.

  “Anything else I can do for you, sir? I mean master?”

  As I placed the tray on the table next to him, he motioned for me to lean closer. Taking my face in his big hands, he turned it from side to side, surmising the damage.

  “Hurt much?”

  I shook my head.

  “Tell Hope I said to give you a good bit of that mutton stew. Cure-all for everything and I know how you like it.”

  I smiled the best I could with the inflamed cheek.

  “Play something nice for me?”

  “On the piano?” I gasped. Missus Delphina had forbid me to play unless company needed to be impressed, which had not happened in a long while.

  “Something Sally would want to hear. This month would have been her birthday.”

  “Her favorite song was ‘Pretty Dreamer.’ ”

  He nodded and picked up his tea. I sank into the plush stool and poised my fingers to play. My heart raced as I stumbled through the first section, but then the dust fell away and the notes glided off my fingertips. A calm came over me. I lost myself between the sound until I was so high it felt like I had the power to do anything. When I rose from the piano and gave Master a curtsey, he clapped his hands and whispered, “Brava.”

  I could not help but glow under his appreciation until I saw the back of Missus Delphina’s skirt whip around her ankles as she moved away from the door.

  CHAPTER 2

  Master’s Promise

  My afternoon in the big house proved to be as backbreaking as my morning work. I dusted all the window curtains and wall hangings on the main living floor, and then swept the halls and formal stairs. Just when I thought I would pass out from fatigue, Lovie called me out back and handed me the jar of shoe blackening—a mixture of soot, sugar, syrup, molasses, and water to polish Master’s dress shoes for his trip. By the time I finished, the sun’s sketch traced the sky. Missus would be ready to retire soon, and if I wanted any semblance of harmony, her room needed to be warmed and ready. I could hear Aunt Hope humming a spiritual as I washed up in the basin on the side of the kitchen house. I scrubbed my hands with lye soap, then took the back stairs two at a time up to Missus’s bedroom. I would have bumped into Lovie in the hall if she had not held up the lantern to light my way.

  “Needin’ to set up your pallet.”

  “Where?”

  Lovie opened the door to a little closet off the entrance of Missus Delphina’s bedroom. When my eyes adjusted, I sucked my teeth.

  She rolled her eyes. “Ain’t what you use to but it what Missus want.”

  The floor in the closet was narrow and short. I would have to bring my knees waist high just to fit all the way in. I longed to protest, tell Lovie that I would sleep with Mama and return before the sun came up, but I knew Lovie did not make the rules of the house. Only enforced them.

  “Light the fire and turn back the bed. Once she down, go see ’bout your mama. I will cover for you, but be quick about it. Sometime she wake for water.”

  I was at the hearth kindling the fire when Missus trod heavily across the floor.

  “Lovie, help me undress.”

  Once the flames licked up the logs, I turned back the bed linen and fluffed the pillows.

  Missus tied her robe over her dressing gown, then took a seat at her vanity and dismissed me with a flick of her wrist. “Go help Hope shut down the kitchen for the night.”

  I bowed my head and exited the room. Once I got through the side door, I sprang across the grass to the loom house. Mama was sitting at the kitchen table bent over her needlework. Her cheeks rose into a smile.

  “Thought Missus wanted you up at the house?”

  “She down for the night. Lovie sent me to see about you.” I moved in to peck her forehead, but she took hold of my face and frowned.

  “I don’t like that woman’s hands on you.”

  “Not as bad as it looks.”

  Mama dropped her needle and walked to
the back of the room to her medicine shelves. There were three rows: one for herbs and teas, the second with balms and ointments, and the bottom row held liquids, potion, wine, and whiskey. She reached for a green jar that smelled of frankincense and slathered it on my cheek. Satisfied with her work, she said, “Go on and get a bowl. Plenty stew for you here.”

  We had three mismatched chairs, and I put her needlework in the basket under the high-backed chair that she favored. As I reached for two bowls, I heard the door to the loom house slide open.

  I looked at Mama.

  “Ruthy?”

  “I’s here.” She nodded to me.

  I pulled down a third bowl. Mama moved to the fire and gave the pot a stir with one hand and slipped one of her chewing sticks into her mouth to freshen her breath with the other. Then she ran her hand over her hair and pinned it in place. I did the same.

  Master Jacob entered our room and seemed to take it over with his presence. Mama placed herself on the edge of the bed with her ankles crossed and waited for him to address us.

  “Evening.” He smiled.

  “A fine one it is,” Mama answered back. “Care for something to eat?”

  “Would not mind one bit.” Master removed his jacket and I reached out my hand to take it, folding it carefully on the back of his chair. Mama kept a jug of wine for his visits on the lower back shelf. She wiped his glass with a cloth, then poured until the red liquid was half full. She served Master first and then brought our food, a stew of boiled potatoes, onions, and carrots, to the table. Once we were all seated, Master reached for our hands and prayed over the meal.

  My stomach rumbled and I dropped my head into my stew. Now that Master had come to visit, I could cut my time short with Mama and stop in on Essex.

  “I don’t like her being handled that way.” Mama gestured to my cheek. “Ain’t fair. Pheby a good worker.”

  “I will talk to her.”

  “That’s why we need to get her ways from here.” Mama swallowed. “How much longer it gon’ take?”

  “Working on it, Ruthy. Pheby’s birthday is still two seasons away.”

  “Wantin’ her far up north. Where her freedom matters.”

  Master slurped up his stew. “Ruthy, this is delicious.” He moved the bread around in his bowl for the last drop, then pushed back his seat, satisfied. “Taking you down to Charleston with me in a few days. Make sure you tie up loose ends.”

  Mama nodded her head. “But what is the plan for Delores?”

  “There is a school in Massachusetts that I have been in contact with. She will be older than the other girls, but with all that Sally taught her, she will do fine.”

  “A real school?” Mama showed her teeth.

  “Our Pheby will have a good life. Now, you quit worrying me, gal, and bring me some more wine.”

  Mama rose and did as she was told. Master reached into his pocket and held out a square piece of chocolate wrapped in shiny gold paper.

  “Thanks for the song today.” He winked.

  I stood and curtsied.

  “Delores, get on back to the Big House now before you missed.”

  I kissed Mama on the cheek and shoved the chocolate into my skirt pocket. It was not until I had started on the path to the stables that I realized I had forgotten my shawl. The wind stirred up, causing goose pimples to sprout across my arms, such that I considered roaming back. But then I remembered the one time I interrupted one of Master’s visits to the loom house and caught Mama laid across the bed with her dress up, while Master’s pants were gathered around his feet. His pale white hind parts moved back and forth, and he groaned like a wounded animal—the sound that lingered in my head for months. Mama caught me standing frozen at the top of the ladder. She made her eyes large and mouthed for me to go, so I did. When I finally returned to the loom house later that night, Mama waited with a bowl of split pea soup.

  “Ain’t many choices for a slave woman. Just know everything I do is for you. I’ma die a slave. I knows that. But you, baby, you are meant to see freedom. I’s makin’ sure.”

  After that night, we came up with a signal. Candle in the window meant clear to come up. No candle, keep walking.

  * * *

  When I reached the stables, nightfall swallowed me in darkness. I coughed three times and then Essex opened the side door and drew me in. He smelled like a mix of soap and cedar, and I pressed into his skin.

  “Hey, beautiful. Thought you weren’t coming.” He kissed me until I felt warm and sticky, and I placed my hands on his chest to restore my breathing.

  “Mama held me up.”

  I followed him up the ladder to his flatbed loft over the haystacks. A single candle burned but did not mask the odor of damp animals and droppings.

  “How do you sleep up here with these smelly horses?” I pinched my nose.

  “Sleeping with the animals is how I become Massa to them.” He untied my headscarf and released my curls. “Got something for you.”

  “What is it?” I sat cross-legged with my skirt pulled down over my feet.

  “Close your eyes and no peeking.”

  I could hear him rummaging around. “Now, open them.”

  My lids blinked open to see Essex holding up two leather strips. Hanging from each was a wooden carving of a half of a heart.

  “This one for you.” He took one of the necklaces and tied it around my neck. “Just a little something to hold us over till I can marry you properly and get us ’ways from here.”

  I touched the heart to my lips. Then he gave me the other necklace and I tied it around his neck.

  “I love it.” I nuzzled my nose against his chin stubble until I felt him blush. “Thank you kindly.”

  “Anything for you.”

  Essex made a pillow out of hay and wrapped it in a piece of cloth. We settled back into the nook of the loft until our bodies were flush against each other. His strong arms around me made me feel safe. Essex nosed my hair, trailed his lips in sweet kisses down the side of my face until he found my mouth.

  “You taste like sugarcane.” He undid the buttons to my top, fondling away my chemise until he cupped my breasts with both hands. I arched and groaned as he massaged my nipples. Heat rose between us. I could sense desire taking over my reason and logic, so I kissed him one last time and then elbowed him away.

  “What’s the matter? Don’t you want me?” he panted.

  I fastened my buttons. “More than words can say.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “Mama said not to catch no babies till I am free. Only a few more months, then we can leave this place and have as many babies as we want.”

  “You believe Massa’s promise?”

  I nodded. “Tonight he told Mama he was sending me to a school in Massachusetts. How much you save up for your freedom?”

  “Round one hundred dollars since Massa been letting me hire myself out. But Parrott said a good stable boy like me worth two, three times more.”

  “What are we going to do?”

  Essex leaned in real close and made his eyes big. “I aims to run if I have to.”

  “Hush that talk.”

  He put his mouth on my ear. “I have been testing how far I can get when I’s working the horses on other plantations. Making a plan.”

  “You talking foolish, Essex Henry.”

  “I ain’t letting you leave here without me.”

  “There has to be another way.”

  “You mine, Pheby. If I gotta run to be with you, then so be it.”

  “Dangerous talk and you know it.”

  He looked me deep in the eyes and fondled my cheek. “She did this?”

  I nodded.

  “Woman ain’t no good.” His mood soured.

  “And I better get back up to the house before she starts wearing out my name.” I stood, smoothing down my skirts.

  “When will I see you again?”

  “Soon as I can get to you. Please do not do anything foolish before then.”


  “We are going to be together, Pheby. That’s a promise.” He walked me to the door and kissed me long and hard; I bid him good night.

  CHAPTER 3

  Mistress of the House

  Every morning Missus Delphina rose before first light. Up even before the overseer, Snitch, blew “de risin’ horn.” She liked to take what she called her constitutional—a stroll down to the garden, over to the dairy house, and then out to the fields. By the time Master woke up, she had already gotten a report on the crops from Snitch and written it all down in Master’s ledger. Those who worked up at the house had to be up before she was, of course. Rachel, now dead, would stand at the ready with her work dress, while Lovie clutched a tray of morning tea. Aunt Hope toiled away in the kitchen, with smoke blowing high from the chimney carrying the promise of the day’s meal. Essex groomed the horses, and even Mama and I sat at the loom spinning diligently in case Missus popped in on her way to the garden. Now that I slept in the big house, I tossed uncomfortably all night. Without Mama to wake me, I overslept my first morning.

  “Come on, gal, make haste.” Lovie nudged me in the middle of blackness. When I opened my eyes, it took me a moment to gather my wits. Sometime in the middle of the night I had turned my mattress sideways and slept with my feet in the hallway.

  “She be up soon. You needin’ to be ready to dress her.”

  “Why me?” I yawned.

  “Was Rachel’s job, girl. Now it’s yours.”

  I wiped the sleep from my eyes, shoved my pallet back in the closet, and changed from my nightgown to my house dress in the dark. My tongue smacked with thirst. I was wishing I had a sip of some water when Missus started shouting my name.

  I rushed to her door. “Yes, Missus.”

  “Do not stand there idle. Take down my walking dress. The day is wasting.”

  I hurried to her wardrobe and pulled out a mauve dress.

  “That one is for dinner, you ninny. The plaid one.” Missus stood tapping her foot with her arms crossed at the bosom. She looked ghostly by the candlelight in her bloomers and chemise.

  “Where is my corset?”